I suppose it’s rather comforting to know that no matter how far from where you might have started that you find yourself, some things are the same worldwide. As it so happens, I have collected and created a definitive list of them.

  1. Old women who should not be allowed to control any form of moving vehicle. 
    It doesn’t matter where you go, there’s always one of them ready to put your life into danger through complete negligence of any road rules and an apparent unawareness of how a vehicle should be operated safely. Let me tell you, driving on the wrong side of the road into oncoming traffic on a busy road whilst looking at mangoes to the right of you, and not straight in front of you, is not an instance where safety is prioritised. (This is hypothetical of course)
  2. People getting angry at banks.
    You all know the drill – the bank’s ready for business and 3/7 counters are open whilst other employees wander around trying to look more busy than they are. Soon the mumbling and grumbling starts, then, after some time, a middle aged person will make a somewhat angry assertion to the clerks about the length of time they’ve had to wait. Ten more minutes pass and said person will say the same thing again, only louder. Eventually, said person will make friends and they might form an angry mob.
  3. Temper tantrums in supermarkets.
    We’ve all seen them time and time again. To be honest, we probably were one of the little gremlins at one point, terrorising passing shoppers with shrill screams and starfishing in places where trolleys need to be pushed. My personal favourite that I have seen recently, is one kid who had got himself a basket and was filling it with tomatoes. It was only when it got to about half way that his Mum had to put every single one of them back to where they came from, thus initiating howls that even a dog would run away from. Classic.
  4. People who spend more time taking pictures of themselves at the gym than actually doing any exercise.
    Guys, don’t worry. That comforting feeling you get when you see that guy with the arms bigger than your head and legs thinner than your wrists at the gym posing in front of the mirror again, it happens here too. And, that girl you always see showing off her ‘progress’ (new sports gear) to her instagram following – she made it here too. Don’t fret, you can relocate with peace of mind.
  5. People who don’t know what going to the beachwear means.
    We should underline at this point what you should wear to the beach – swimsuit (any you want), clothes if you want, nothing if it’s allowed, suncream (always), to be honest pretty much anything you want to wear or don’t want to wear, go for it. You should not under any circumstances go into the water with socks on. This is not how you do the beach.

 

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